Sunday, April 26, 2009

Writing my novel


I've decided to write my novel.

I've picked a topic. I've introduced myself to the main characters. They, in turn, are beginning to share the details of their story with me. We're having trouble figuring out their names, but other than that and the fact that the hero's identity has shifted four times already, we're on pretty good terms.

Now, I know you, skimming this post, are suddenly filled with hundreds of burning questions. Like:

1. Where will you hang your Pulitzer prize? After all, it would be tacky to hang it in the front room, but technically, the office is Tim's.

Answer: Pulitzer prizes are for adult literature. My book will target children and/or young adults, because those are the books I like to read. So no Pulitzer in my future. Maybe I'll get a Newberry medal, though. Can you hang those in the living room?

2. Did you just say you like to read childrens' literature? You admit that in public? I would never admit that. When I read Harry Potter 7, I covered the outside with the cover for The Brothers Karamazov so the weirdos on the bus would think I was reading real literature. And although I stayed up until 4 am finishing it, I only gave it 3 stars on Goodreads so my friends wouldn't think I actually liked it.

Answer: Wow. Sorry you didn't like Harry Potter. I would have recommended it for your next international flight. Was that a question?

3. Won't the act of writing a novel get in the way of your day job? And how is this going to affect your quest for Tenure?

Answer: I can write evenings. And shhh. Don't tell the tenure committee.

4. But when your book becomes a wild success, won't they find out? Have you considered using a pen name?

Answer: Well, the thought has admittedly crossed my mind, but then I realize that I don't even know the names of my main characters. Therefore, perhaps I'll cross that bridge with my agent. Someday. When I have an agent. After I have a draft.

5. Huh. Do you have a title?

Answer: Um. No.

6. So no title, no draft, and you're already writing speeches for book signings?

Answer: I like to be prepared.

7. Huh. Well, tell me when you're finished. Meanwhile, I think I'll go back to reading The Brothers Karamazov.

Answer: ....


A Married Mormon Man said...

It all sounds so eerily familiar...

Tiffany said...

You are funny and we would make splendid friends, I'm sure of it.

Btw, how about Inictra for a character's name? That's my word verification word for this comment. Has a nice ring to it.

Veiltender said...

Just think, with all the ground research you're doing by reading Children's and YA books already, your halfway to a Newberry already!
(This is Thora)

lenalou said...

Ooh, I can't wait. As long as there are no vampires in it.

A Married Mormon Man said...

And I liked how you said you'd have time for it in the "evenings". At our house, "evenings" refers to the magical hours of 10 PM to 2 AM. Prime writing time, until you realize upn further review all the characters seem to always be a little punchy.

Equinox said...

Children literature lovers unite! Can I get a signed copy? Will it have pictures? Can I book you now for a lecture/autograph signing at whatever class I happen to have whenever your book comes out? Will you charge a fee? And if I order in bulk now, can I get a good educators deal? (Honestly, if you truly are writing or even sketching something to write, that's cool and I'd love to see it. Guess I should say please.)
: )

Kristen A said...

Your writing is so tight and funny and I think you will make a great novelist. Keep the site updated with your progress.

Chickadeedee said...

I'd like to pre-order as well. Already I can imagine laughing hysterically at your characters and taking lots of time to ponder deep issues you develop in your novel. I assume you know that D is writing one and has just started a second.