Goodbye cruel world. We are going to Disneyland. During a level 5 pandemic.
We will catch something terrible, and die young, and I will never return to complete my novel.
In case this is the end, I would like to leave my orange rug skirt to my sister, because she has a daughter.
I bequeath the fern green curio cabinet to Letterpress, because it would go so well with her red chairs. Of course, she won't be able to enjoy it long, as we are headed to her house directly after Disney while still contagious. Dibs on the red chairs after you are gone, Letterpress. Oh, except dang. I forgot I was going first.
To Bob, my archenemy, I would like to leave my G.O.D. University t-shirt, as a token of reconciliation.
To Emily, I leave my tile kitchen backsplash, which, by the way, was finally installed on Tuesday and looks really really good. For those who didn't know, Emily and I have been in competition to see who can live the longest without a backsplash. As of Tuesday, Emily is the official winner.
My half-empty bottle of grout sealer I bequeath to a MMM. I was going to give it to Chickadeedee, but couldn't do it so close to mother's day.
I would like to leave my copy of Twilight to Brady, in remembrance of our shared high school romance.
To my faithful blurkers Thora and Tiffany, I leave hyperlinks, so that any of my 17 other readers can subscribe to their blogs. If they haven't already. Or, if they think that's lame, they can fight over the sofa.
I bequeath the giant Mexican hat to Al, because someone may want to write a love post about him someday and it will work best if she can include a picture of him in the hat.
Finally, to all my other blurkers, I bequeath my archives. To you, I leave true treasure: a huge heap of stinking words, left here in memory of me until someone at Google decides to take them down, or the apocalypse hits. Whichever comes first.
If you want something else, you'd better write soon. Because we've been planning this vacation for a long time, and so dang it, we're going to go.
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5 comments:
Everyone's freaking out about this, but unless you go to Mexico, you should be fine. Of course, by the time you decide to come here, they may have canceled Disneyland, so keep a close eye on closures for Southern California.
(It cracks me up that they are closing schools and canceling Cinco de Mayo festivites, but are they closing down commerce? Nooooooo.)
I'm really going to miss you! And thank you for the links, but what I really wanted was that rug skirt. I'm just sayin'.
Thanks for remembering me in your will - I think this may be the first will I've ever been in. Having said that, I too covet that orange skirt. After all, I could go back to school someday, and stick it to the man. Really. Although as a faithful blurker, I do appreciate the hyperlinks.
We'll say a mass and kidush over you all when you die.
Maybe you should wear masks and gloves. You know, just in case. Mostly, just have fun! Looking forward to your return that will surely be full of near-death by swine flu tales.
Sweet, I get the backsplash, eh?
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