Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Hygiene time

I attended a workshop a couple of weeks ago to encourage us to put aside at least 15 minutes each day to do some academic writing.

We participants had to think about some time we had available. Where could we cram in the writing?

Not during our sleep time. Studies had shown our writing efforts will fail if we try to convert sleeping time to writing time. We can't write more and sleep less.

Also, we can't take exercise time. That would be unhealthy.

Those were the only limits we were given. Of course, you already know that I do my writing at 6:00 in the morning. But it did start me wondering about other times I could trade.

Laundry time, for example. How much time does it cost to fold all those clothes rather than just pull them clean from the heap in the dryer? Actually, probably not 15 minutes per day. And plus, I must confess I have been known already to take that laundry folding time and use it for other purposes. Ahem. That's how I know you can just wear most of the clothing clean out of the dryer without bothering to fold first.

OK. What about cooking time? Oh wait. I don't actually cook much. Same goes for baking. Our home teacher asked recently if Jonathan liked to help Mommy bake cookies. Jonathan just gave him a totally blank stare. Um, I confessed. I don't actually bake cookies. Not for years. Probably not anytime in Jonathan's entire memory. Lucky for me. That means I don't have to trade the cookie baking time. Yippee!

Personal time? Not hardly. In case anyone asks, I spend that time reviewing papers. Seriously, Bob. In fact, I'm reviewing a paper right now. Na-now-Now. Yup. Now.

Cleaning time? Could I just let the goo build up in the bathrooms and kitchen? No. That actually ranks higher than exercise time on time spent keeping you healthy. In fact, I might suggest the presenter throw in a comment to the effect that cleaning time isn't legal writing time either.

So it's got to be hygiene time -- you know -- all that time spent showering, combing hair, clipping nails. Changing from clothes to pajamas back to clothes again. Shaving. Putting on deodorant. Cleaning your ears with a Q-tip. That sort of time. Easily more than 15 minutes each day. Easily.

Here's what I figure. If I continue to wash my hands vigorously and regularly, I should stay healthy even if I cut the showers back to once per month. A little body odor never caused disease. And my university has no policy on women's shaving habits. Heck, I could sport two beards -- one under each arm -- and no one could turn me in for dress code violations.

And I betcha if I traded hygiene time for writing, I could also pick up all my office hours time to boot! think about it. Would you go to one-on-one office meetings with the Odor? No way. That adds all sorts of extra hours! Just think of the papers I would churn out!

Wow. I am totally onto something here. Totally.

Anyway, back to that paper review. Ahem.

1 comment:

Tiffany said...

The two beards image is hilarious!