Note to self: Don't write when angry. Or annoyed. Certain topics just make me really annoyed.
So now I need to back up and explain some things I didn't mean in yesterday's post.
I did not mean to say that talented people don't do housekeeping. In fact, nearly all the people I know do a little housekeeping. Even those of us abandoning hygiene time.
I also did not mean to say that homemakers are not talented. If my mother ever reads my blog again, and there is the slight chance of that happening now that I have introduced her to Google reader, she may think that yesterday's angry post was trying to say that she and all the other homemakers I know are not talented. No, Mom. In fact, some of the most talented people I know are homemakers. Like you. And Kristen. And Thora. Definitely Thora. She is brilliant and funny and dang, I wish I could get some of her homemade bread. But maybe I won't let her paint my furniture.
I guess what I was trying to say is that marriage takes a little flexibility. Certainly Kristen and Thora and you, Mom, know that.
Lucky for me, Tim knows it, too. After reading yesterday's post, you know that Tim knows it. Either that or we're headed for problems. Although maybe those problems were inevitable with the hygiene decisions, eh?
I also want to reiterate that I have nothing to say against that paragraph of the Family Proclamation which came up in my friend's conversations. In fact, I agree with it totally. I just don't read into it the mandate that women become slaves to their husband. Just the opposite. Yes families need someone to make sure their emotional and physical needs are provided for. I have no problems with delegating oversight of those jobs to the man or woman. Nor do I have problems with the Relief Society counselor in Texas who delegated the nurturing to her stay-at-home husband while she worked as a pediatrician, or the bishop in California whose wife was the primary breadwinner for several years of their marriage. Both jobs were getting done in both families, and both families were happy and healthy and well and making the best decisions for themselves according to their abilities.
Flexibility. That's the key.
That and the fact that sometimes Life doesn't turn out quite as you would expect. And sometimes God has more planned for your life than you do.
And it's easier to accept the bits in that last paragraph if you have a bit of the stuff of the second to last.
That's all.
See, Bob? I'm totally in line here. Totally.
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5 comments:
I thought you made it quite clear in the original post your frustration was with inflexible tyrannical behavior of individual men who aren't married and likely won't be because of their above mentioned behavior, not with anything expressed in the proclamation or other doctrine.
Although I also understand why you felt the need to clarify.
Peace out!
And here I was about to report you to your bishop :).
I too understood you the same way as AMMM. Although it was nice to be mentioned, even if I can't paint chairs. (But hey, I finally finished the project, that has to count for something...) I use to plan to be a professor, but then I realized I didn't actually want to do a Phd. Or teach. Or research. But until that epiphany, I fully planned to work outside the home. One of the coolest people I know, Zina Peterson, is a professor at your school (she's in the English Department). I guess this doesn't say much except that I know a lot of women who work doing fulfilling careers. What I don't like as much is women (or men) who work just for money. I grew up in a house where my Mom had to work for the money, and I don't mean this. I mean where they find the job neither fulfilling nor interesting, but work there because of their high flown lifestyle, or whatnot. But that wasn't your point at all, so I'll step off my little commentor soapbox now.
Flexibility and equality. Amen. (I thought you were perfectly clear.)
Ditto Married Mormon Man's comments.
I should have come out of the blurking closet to comment on your original post as originally intended because I loved it. I am 33, single, Mormon and a lawyer which means I am practically undatable in the Mormon world. It sucks to have all kinds of assumptions heaped upon you just because you chose to get an education and work instead of pining around waiting to be saved by a smart man. I always love getting some empathy from married friends. Thanks for speaking up for your friend because chances are when she says things like that (or at least when I do) others perceive her (okay, me) as bitter.
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