Important university buildings

I spent the last week in the East. Not the Far East. I would actually fly West to reach that. How bizarre is that? No, I was just somewhere in the Eastern United States. Much more boring.

Anyway, it was a whirlwind tour for work, involving three universities in three different cities in three different states in four days. Plus a couple of long travel days sandwiching everything in the middle. Because I was working so much, I traveled quietly, and kept a low profile. I wore sunglasses and a hat in my attempt to go incognito, and to throw off the paparazzi and all that. It seemed to have worked. But I do apologize to all my wild and crazy fans in those three cities that I did not stop by for a book signing tour or anything. The real problem is that I haven't yet written any book.

What I really saw was the inside of university buildings, plus a bit of the commuter scene, like the Amtrak and some New Jersey turnpike. But mostly university buildings.

Anyway, I have nailed down the major differences between the three Important universities at which I spent time.

Temple University, in Philadelphia, has the best ladies bathrooms. On the other hand, they are locked. You have to ask the secretary for a key. And each floor has a different key. So if you are discussing a grant proposal on the fourth floor, say, but then run up to the sixth floor to give a talk, you need to swing by the secretaries' offices to pick up a new key during the five minute break before the second talk starts. That's pretty annoying.

According to the woman visiting from Bryn Mawr, U Penn doesn't lock their ladies' rooms, but they have alarms all over their bathrooms "just in case". Makes you think twice about exactly what might happen in a public restroom in central Philadelphia, I guess? Anyway, I cannot comment on the quality of U Penn's bathrooms, as I did not take the time to visit.

But central city Philadelphia is nice this time of year. I got to spend extra time walking as well, taking in the sites, as the public transit workers went on strike in my honor the first morning I arrived.

Second stop was Columbia University, New York. I took the speedy train up there, because I could, and it matched my sleep schedule the best, noting in advance that it would be a 40 minute walk to the train station thanks to the striking subway workers of Philadelphia. (I really must make sure to give them credit for a lovely trip.) The speedy train is the train of choice of the people in fancy suits. Serious business people. I felt somewhat under dressed, until I reminded myself that I, too, was on the train for business. My employer just happens to subscribe to a model of more comfortable business attire. So I happily pulled out my laptop and wrote up a draft of the paper discussed by my Temple colleague and I, and fit right in with the other laptops.

Columbia had the worst ladies rooms. But at least they were unlocked, freely available to a visitor like me. The campus, however, is fenced in and guarded and locked, even more so after dark. We stayed past dark, and had to backtrack to a major entrance to escape the campus. Then we headed into Harlem for dinner. I write all this to scare my mother in law. Harlem isn't really that scary anymore, though it was chilly. Plus, we weren't really out past 9pm.

Princeton University, which is conveniently located halfway between Temple and Columbia, has the most trees by far. Their ladies room seemed to be clean, once I finally found it. The sixth floor only had a mens' room. So I tried the fifth floor, and could only find a closet where the ladies room should have been. So then I tried the seventh floor and met with success. Such struggles help define you as a person, and help you appreciate the unlocked public bathrooms liberally sprinkled throughout your university building at home. At least for me.

All in all, productive visit. Grant proposal finished, two papers drafted, and all this without unduly stressing my bladder. Plus, when driving back to Philadelphia from Princeton, my colleague took me past Independence Hall and the Liberty bell. As we zoomed through a stoplight, he told me to crane my head backward at the right angle, and I might get a glimpse of the bell itself through the closed glass doors late at night. That counts as tourism.

Next time, I need to remember to crane my head for a sight of the Statue of Liberty.