Getting the chores done

I have invented a fool proof way to get all the chores done at home.

A few weeks ago, I looked around and noticed that my house needed cleaning. But that unfortunately, I didn't have a free weekend in which to clean it. So I stumbled upon something I hadn't tried since Texas: cleaning during the regular week. That's right, folks. The regular week.

The problem of cleaning during the regular week is where to start? And once you've started, how to keep going until it's all done? Friends, this is my handy dandy new system comes in. Rather than take on all jobs at once, my grand idea is to break the house cleaning into little pieces. One room one day, another room another. And to remind yourself of where you have been, you remember just one little word for each day of the week.

Here is how it goes:

Monday: mop day. Notice how "mop" and "Monday" share the first two letters. See? Totally unforgettable. Monday you wake up, look at the calendar, and remember it's time to mop the floors. But of course, you can't actually mop the floors unless you've swept them. And we don't really sweep here, we vacuum. So Monday becomes vacuuming day. Isn't that great? All the floors vacuumed Monday because we remember we're supposed to mop.

Tuesday: Toilet day. Because Tuesday shares the same first letter as toilet. I used to change towels on Tuesday, waiting to clean the bathrooms on a day that started with a B. Unfortunately, the bathrooms really started to stink, so I had to come up with something new. So there you go. On Tuesday, we clean the toilets. And while we're at it, the Tub and the Tshower and the Tcounter tops in the Tbathroom. Tuesday.

Wednesday: Wash day. As in laundry. Or you could wash something else while you are at it, if you feel so inclined. But for me, laundry is a nice chore to do on Wednesday. And the bonus is, you get to wear clean undies again on Thursday.

Thursday: THe kitchen day. OK, I need some help here. I could use a better Th word that means Kitchen. Anyway, right now I remember the kitchen needs cleaning on Thursday because none of the other days of the week start with K either, and there is something growing in the sink.

Friday: Front room. We tend to let things clutter in the living room, but living room doesn't start with an F like Front room does. So Friday is a good day for cleaning out that F-ing clutter, where here F is for Front room. Friday.

Saturday: Shopping day. As in groceries. Because if we don't do the shopping we get cranky eating ketchup and applesauce and whatever else we find in the pantry. I suppose I could sweep on Saturday, but why? When I mop on Monday?

Sunday: Sabbath. Dude, you get a day of rest built in.

It's brilliant, isn't it? I'm going to patent it and sell it off to the world!

Meanwhile, you probably want to know how this great idea works in practice.

The first week I tried it, I didn't get so much family time, because I spent an hour after work cleaning floors and bathrooms and otherwise playing Cinderella.

The second week I tried it, Tim was away, and there really wasn't any time to play Cinderella. We just kept on top of the dishes and called it good.

The third week I tried it, I was away. It worked really well. I sat in my hotel room thinking, Thursday. Kitchen. Gee, what a pity there's no kitchen here. I think I'll eat another chocolate.

The fourth week I tried it, by the end of the week the house was nearly spotless. Truly. Because the end of the week was Saturday, and we spent a couple of hours that day vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, washing laundry, wiping up the kitchen, and de-cluttering the F Front room. All on Saturday.

So maybe this daily cleaning strategy doesn't actually work in real life. I bet I could still write up a book and sell it, eh? At least if I could figure out how to spell Kitchen with the Th.