The security level is Orange

I am back in the US again. I finished my tenth transatlantic plane flight in fifteen weeks yesterday. I have been out of the US enough days in a year that the tax people will be happy. Or rather, I will be happy that I don't have to pay as much in taxes. I am hoping hoping hoping not to cross the Atlantic Ocean for at least a year. I know that sounds really lame to some of you who would really like to cross the Atlantic, but I'm just really tired of being really tired. Perhaps if I could fly away to relax or to go sight seeing I would feel better, but 23 hours of travel followed by a serious work week just isn't good for the heart or soul. I feel like I'm going to cry.

So, in the Chicago airport, they interrupt a boring pre-migrainal layover with occasional announcements that "The security level is Orange." This is supposed to inspire you to keep your belongings close and to ratchet up your personal panic level to the appropriate notch.

"Excuse me, Madam, but I don't believe you look quite harried enough. I'd like to remind you that the security level is Orange."

Of course, there is no ensuing announcement about what "Orange" means. My mobile phone in the UK was through Orange, and I was quite pleased with the company. Presumably if the security level had been Green or Blue, then we would envision green valleys and peaceful streams. Orange is supposed to remind us that we are hungry and it is time to eat. Or at least that's what home decorator websites say in the US.

Anyway, speaking of home decorating, here back at home in the US we have some very good news. The solid surface people came and put in the shower surround in the two upstairs bathrooms. So now we have two fully functional bathrooms, and one that is just waiting on shower glass.

All other progress on the house has again cranked to a halt. There is so little to do, I wish these guys would just come and do it! But they don't. This week, we are supposed to get a porch. Actually, that was supposed to happen last week. We have purchased those window wells, but they still have not been installed, although the gutter guy removed serious flooding worries. Just a bit of patching, paint, little things. I just want these guys out of my house so I can finish moving in!

But back to the security level. I think it is safe to assume that security level colors follow the rainbow. If it is red, then things are looking very bad indeed. Orange is bad, but not bad enough to cancel any flights. Yellow should make you nervous. Green more calm. Blue means all is well in the world, and when things finally hit purple, we will be sitting in circles holding hands singing kumbayah.

Anyway, now that I am back in the US, ready to go back to work tomorrow, I start making lists again of all the things to do. Teaching, teaching prep, office hours, prepare students for midterm Friday, make arrangements for project Friday, go over notes for research seminar Tuesday or Thursday. Pediatrician Monday, dentist Tuesday. Lunch meetings Tuesday and Thursday. Teaching seminar Thursday, remote seminar with South Dakota Friday. Schedule the carpet guys. Schedule the glass people to finish the shower. Schedule visiting teaching and visiting teachers -- which is a crazy thing we're supposed to do through church -- visit to make sure everyone feels loved and visited -- it's great in theory, but not this week. Submit a report about my work in England. Submit a report on my conference in Germany. Write a grant proposal. And somewhere in here I really do need to finish writing some papers, although I have only myself to blame for not using my jetlag time last week to do more on those. I mean good grief, I didn't have internet.

Anyway, I realize I am the only one reading this far into the post, that I lost everyone else somewhere in that last paragraph.

But I would like to interrupt this pre-migrainal rant to inform you that the stress level at my house is Orange.

We would like you to show the appropriate level of panic. Thank you.