Things I haven't been blogging

There is nothing like a dressing room -- fluorescent lights, full length mirrors -- to make you feel lumpy and old.

I've been looking for a new pair of jeans. They should be super comfortable, cover my butt at all times, and make me look young and skinny. I have jeans that are comfortable, and I have jeans that cover my butt at all times. But none of my jeans make me look young and skinny anymore. The skinny jeans just make me look lumpy. The young jeans make me look old.

I tried on several pairs. Somehow my stomach looked poochy and my hair looked flat and my eyes looked tired in all of them. Even though I kept trying them and trying them. And trying them.

I don't know. Maybe I'm asking too much of my jeans. Or maybe I can't ask them to make me look young and skinny while I'm in a department store dressing room. Maybe I need to just buy lots of jeans, and after I take them out of the dressing room they will make me look young and skinny again.

Because real life works like that, right?

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I owe you pictures of our spring school holidays. I almost wrote "recent" school holidays, but the longer I don't post the pictures the less recent those school holidays become. But I'm behind on all sorts of things. Like my work projects. And email. I have a lot of unread email. Ignored and un-responded to email. Some of it I have marked with a star, to remind myself that it's important enough that I need to get back to it. Some of it I have marked as unread, so I will go back through it and read it again when I'm cleaning out unread messages, and I'll remember at that time that I need to do something about it. And some of it is both starred and unread.

But pretty much I'm behind on all of it. Sorry.

I'm behind on all sorts of things. I think I need a secretary to sit me down and tell me what to do each day so that I can actually do the things that need to be done and postpone the things that don't need to be done immediately -- but not to postpone too long. Right now, my email inbox is my cheap way of having a personal secretary. Along with my electronic calendar. Email and e-calendar. They send me reminders of important things that I mark with a star so I'll someday get around to doing them. I hope. If I ever get through my email. I don't like electronic secretaries. They're too impersonal. And I have to tell them which things are important. I think a personal secretary would do a better job. Who will hire a secretary for me?

Meanwhile, do you think a personal secretary would shop for jeans for me? They could definitely sort through the holiday pictures and post the ones in which I look young and skinny.

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We are in the thick of spring. Last Saturday, Tim was unable to stop sneezing. Allergies. Jonathan laughed at him and told him just to hold the sneezes inside and Wow! His sneezes were Loud!

Sunday, Jonathan came down with the allergies. Red itchy eyes and hives. Tim was not extremely sympathetic.

With a little allergy medicine and a drastic change in the weather, they are now both allergy free. I'm not a fan of the weather change, though. We went from sunshine and blue skies to lots of cold rain. Lots and lots of cold rain.

But if it's raining
have no regrets
because it isn't raining only rain
it's raining violets.

That's a song I learned once. I think of it in the spring. I guess November showers bring December flowers, or something like that.

But what do December flowers bring? Pilgrims? Spring jokes just don't work in the Southern Hemisphere. They just don't work.

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Anyway, I haven't been blogging any of that. Because somehow it all seems a little stupid and embarrassing. And because I should catch up on my email and photos before the blog. That's why you haven't heard any of it yet.