Rejection reflection

Toward the end of the 2012, I sent out a round of query letters to literary agents, in a first attempt to get my novel published, and for my efforts, I received back a round of form rejections.

This means a few things.  First, it means November was less pleasant than it might have otherwise been.  It hurts to have people tell you that you aren't good enough, even (especially) when it's true.  But I guess I am recovering.  I can now admit to the universe that I am a reject, and decide how to move on from there.

Second, the rejections mean I need to decide how serious I am about publishing fiction.  I already have a great job that I love (most of the time), and an awesome family that I love (most of the ... oh wait).  I have some sort of personality disorder, however, that compels me to do multiple difficult and stress-inducing things all at the same time.  Do I want fiction-writing to become stress inducing as well?  Do I want it to take more time from my family?  Is there a way to take it up a level without having it become another stress in life?  After the round of rejections in November, I decided no, and spent my decompressing time playing epoch video games (with the family ... sometimes).  But I am ready to try new things again.  I am planning to attend a local writer's conference a weekend in February, for example.  I might sign up for a writers' workshop one Saturday in January, as well.  If I am serious about publishing fiction, I think I need to meet more like-minded people.

Third, all those rejections mean that I need to learn to write a better pitch letter, and sparkly first five pages of my novel, so that if you read my pitch and/or first five pages, you feel compelled to request to read the rest of the manuscript.  In fact, you will be so sucked into the amazing writing and story in just those few paragraphs that you will not only request the manuscript, you will hover over your email inbox until the manuscript appears.  Yes.  Yes, that's what I shall write next.  Unfortunately, since no one in the publishing industry has yet read my manuscript, I don't really know whether the novel itself is viable.  Of course, I like the novel, and some of you have told me you like it.  In 2012, several wonderful helpful people read my manuscript and offered feedback.  I would especially like to thank K.A. for her detailed feedback and comments, including line by line editing.  I owe you, K.  If and when you are willing to let me return the favor, just let me know.

Fourth, I feel like I need more consistent feedback and support to improve.  I would love to join a local writer's group, for critiquing and advice.  But I don't know how to go about doing so.  How does one find a group of people who live near oneself who all like to write?  I think one must sign up for writers' workshops and maybe meet those people there.  Or perhaps I could join an online group.  Perhaps.

Fifth, my rejections have made me look more seriously at self-publishing.  From what I have investigated, it appears that authors who self-publish have much more control over content.  They can charge less for their book ($2 instead of $10 for the electronic version), which means more interested people might take a chance on reading the book.  They receive a higher margin of profits, if there are any profits.  The downside is that there is no peer-review process -- no editor gives their stamp of approval to the finished product, letting readers know that they can trust that this book isn't just crap.  But these days, publishers expect authors to do their own marketing anyway.  At least that's what it sounds like.  Which means the benefits of traditional publishing are dwindling....  And so should I really take my novel there?

OK.  So that's where we stand on that hobby.  And although it has consumed much time, it's still just a hobby, and I have real life work and responsibilities as well.  And potential rejections to face there, too.

At work, in terms of things that could be rejected, I have two grant proposals out, three submitted research papers, a tenure file, and a sabbatical leave request.  I should hear back on whether each of those things is rejected (or not) within the first half of 2013.  At this point in my career, I am not expecting all the decisions to be rejections (though likely some will be).  As opposed to my fiction hobby, I am a little more established in my real-life career now, and people trust me to do good work, and they reject my contributions a little less frequently.  But even if the above things are rejected, I will spend some time feeling sorry for myself, then dust myself off and try again.  I will write another grant proposal, or try a different journal, or maybe look into a new university.  I know now how to work past these rejections in my career.

Which is interesting.  Really, I am where I am in my career due to luck.  Someone back in 1999 and in 2004 and again in 2007 was willing to take a chance on me.  They picked me out of the slush pile for the fellowship, for the postdoc, for the tenure-track position, out of a lot of good applicants.  Because I was lucky enough to have someone take the risk on me, I was able to follow up with hard work and produce products of interest to others.

So I guess that's the take home message for hobbies, too.  Given enough work, and some luck, things could happen.  And I'm already lucky in that I can afford to be patient.

So to conclude this long, boring, reflective essay, I would like to wish all my readers good luck and hard work in 2013.