Melancholy

I want it to be last week again.

I want to be sitting here in this same spot in space, but in last week's time.

This week, the vacation ends.  Jonathan goes back to school.  I go back to work.

I want it to be last week, when I had a whole week of work-free vacation in front of me.  When I had promised my family and myself that I would not spend time thinking about work responsibilities, but instead I would read novels, play video games, visit with far flung family, and eat chocolate.

Last week, at this same spot in space, the voices in my head wondered where to spend my leisure hours.  This week, the voices remind me that I need a syllabus, a few lectures prepped, an end of year faculty profile, and I should get those two papers submitted that were supposed to be submitted in mid-December, preferably by this time next week, same location in space, unfortunately.

And then when I feel a little melancholy thinking of my upcoming week, in spite of two more vacation days, I wonder if I should be setting some New Year's resolutions to increase my happiness.  Would that help?  Would that make the panicky feeling go away?

Actually, I think the only thing that makes the panicky feeling go away is getting the work done.  And so luckily, the holiday is ending.  We all get the privilege of going back to school and work and checking things off the accomplishment list.  Happiness, here we come!