I think Thanksgiving is a good time to make New Year's resolutions. You get those two extra days away from school and work, and you think you will spend just a teensy bit of time doing those little tasks that need doing. But instead you end up stuffing yourself and being grumpy with the family and going back to Monday feeling round and fat.
So this Thanksgiving, I hereby resolve not to be grumpy with the family any more. Even when Tim does commandeer the television to shout at a bunch of fat guys in skinny suits jumping on top of each other. Football. I will not be grumpy anymore because of football.
I hereby resolve to exercise 60 minutes every day until the holidays end or I freeze to death outside in the frozen winter wasteland. Whichever comes first. And thereby I shall banish all the stress that fills my life and maybe tighten up the jelly that begins to fill my jeans. Ah middle age.
I resolve to eat lots and lots of fiber, to scrape away all that extra Thanksgiving rich stuff that is clinging desperately to my insides. It will not withstand an onslaught of broccoli and oatmeal. And neither will my family.
I resolve to finish the stupid paper that I resolved to finish last week, but that I only looked at for all of 15 minutes once on Friday while Tim was in front of the television anyway and I had nothing better to do. Pacing around feeling grumpy is apparently preferable to getting the stupid paper finished.
In short, I resolve to be kind, beautiful, and productive, from here on out. And if I should fail, I will dig myself a hole and crawl into it and not come out until late June. Take that, winter!
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Loved that line, "Ah, middle age." Are you at that point? I still think of you as a young twenty-something. Say it aint' so, Joe. Say it ain't so. And if you are truly in the middle ages, time to give up resolutions. They can be soooo counterproductive.
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