Mandatory sexual harassment meeting

Last week we had a mandatory sexual harassment training meeting. All full time employees in my department were required to attend. In my calendar, the full phrase "sexual harassment" didn't fit in one calendar box, so Google shortened the name of the meeting for me in the printed version. My printed calendar read, "11am sex."

I wasn't actually that lucky.

Anyway, the meeting went as such meetings usually go. The presenter started by telling us all the legal reasons for having such a meeting. She began listing groups that were protected from harassment, including those with a disability.

A young professor sitting a couple rows ahead of me piped up, "But how do you really know they have a disability, and aren't just getting an unfair advantage?"

Little alarms started going off in my head. Sounded like this professor might be one of those types, that doesn't believe there are people in the world different from himself. (Reminds me of you, Bryan, actually.)

The presenter gave the correct answer: "You don't have anything to do with determining whether the student has a disability. That's the job of our office."

The response: "But are you just rubber stamping applications?"

Yup. Definitely the response of someone with an attitude. Just because you can't see a disability, Mr Professor, and don't have one yourself, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Good grief! Of course they don't rubber stamp applications!

"No, we don't rubber stamp applications," replied the presenter. "We do testing, ask for recommendations of doctors, etc to determine if students need accommodations, and what those accommodations should be. ..."

Moving along. We get into the portion of the presentation on sexual harassment: what it is, what it is not, and what to do if it happens.

"You may think," said the presenter, "that sexual harassment doesn't happen at G.O.D. university -- " (Yeah right, I mumbled audibly) "-- but you would be wrong."

She then proceeded to tell us of an incident in which a tenured professor had threatened an assistant with the loss of her job if she didn't participate in a romantic relationship with him.

Mr Professor ahead of me burst out, "But were they married?"

The response was yes -- both parties were married to other people -- to which he gasped audibly.

This was too much for me. I raised my hand and announced loudly, "Can I just point out that it doesn't matter whether they were married or not?"

Mr Professor turned around in his chair to look at me, and as he looked, I saw realization dawn in his face. Ah feminist, he was thinking with distaste. We have one of those in the department.

I had a matching expression on my face. Sexist, thought I. One of those in the department.

The presenter, by the way, agreed with me, and the loud professor backpedaled a bit.

The meeting continued, with just one other notable incident. The presenter brought up a situation in which male students were referring to a female TA as "Hey Babe," which made the TA uncomfortable. She asked them to stop.

This brought a reaction from Mr Professor, who thought this was an overreaction on the TA's part.

The presenter couldn't understand this at all. "Would you like it if I called you Babe?" she asked.

"Don't answer that," she quickly added, as the room filled with laughter.

The meeting finally ended, and we were all dismissed. Before leaving, I did wonder for a moment whether my Enemy might actually be named Babe rather than Bob.

Probably not. I think Professor Babe is harmless and annoying, like Bryan. Not malicious. Plus, it's really hard to be enemies with someone the department now calls "Babe."

*** Endnote 1. I was not actually taking notes during the meeting, and so the quotations above are not really quotations, but just my rough approximations of what the participants were actually saying. Therefore, this post counts only as historical fiction.

*** Endnote 2. They've actually stopped calling him "Babe" by now, but it was funny for a day or so.

*** Endnote 3. You're not really annoying and harmless, Bryan. Most of the time. Just checking to see if you're reading. Ha ha.