Pros and cons of working from home: the definitive list

Now that I have been working from home exclusively for the last three months, I am a total expert. I am one of the biggest experts in the universe. I am by far the biggest expert in my own home now, three months in. Oh, yes, it is true that Tim has been working from home exclusively for about twelve years, compared to my three months. But that just means he is so used to working from home that he can't see it objectively anymore, so he cannot be as big of an expert as I am.

So, putting on my expert hat, I will now tell you exactly what the positives and negatives of working from home are.

Positive:

I get to see Tim anytime I want! Breakfast time! Lunch time! Break time! Interrupt Tim time!

Negative:

Tim interrupts me all the time. Can't you tell, Tim, that I am trying to hold six thoughts in my mind simultaneously, at the vertices of a regular octahedron rotating at a speed of 30 degrees per minute -- what? What? No I don't know what I want for dinner. Just make pizza!

Positive:

I never have to leave the comfort of my beautiful bedroom.

Negative:

I have been in this room for the last 22 hours, with my head tied to the monitor by this headset and my eyeballs about to explode.

Positive:

I can have a hot lunch every single day! Only two people in line for the microwave!

Negative:

I am eating microwaved lunch again with my head tied to the monitor by a headset. Crumbs in the bedroom.

Positive:

Between meetings, I can take a walk around the huge park out my backyard!

Negative:

I have walked around this park so many times in the last three months that I can match the tread marks on the bottoms of my shoes to the wear patterns in the asphalt. I have named the sidewalks: The Muddy East Side, The Long Diagonal, The Total Zig-Zag and the Partial Zig-Zag. The Oaks. Bobby and Judy. I am so tired of walking around this park!

Positive:

I don't have to do all the chores on evenings and weekends. During short work breaks, when I'm not interrupting Tim, I can just spend a little time getting chores done around the house!

Negative:

No. I am not going to clean the bathroom this weekend. I can do it during short work breaks. But not Monday. Or Wednesday. Or Tuesday. Or Thursday. Or Friday. Ew. No one has cleaned the bathroom since mid-March!

Positive:

I can wear my most comfortable clothes all day every day. Jeans and a soft sweatshirt Monday through Sunday!

Negative:

I have no reason to wear my pretty clothes anymore. They are so sad and lonely in the closet.

Positive:

Tim is perfecting his pizza making skills!

Negative:

Pizza again?

Positive:

Everything I need lives on this little laptop!

Negative:

I miss the books in my office soooo much!

Positive:

No commute!

Negative:

No train trips to mark the beginning and ending of the day. Sometimes, the days never ever end. Until Tim comes in and interrupts me and asks what I want for dinner. Pizza. Pizza, ok? Pizza forever! PIZZA!

... The end.