Resolved

Since this is my first post of the new year, I think it would be appropriate to list new year's resolutions. Typically, I like to resolve to do things that I know I can accomplish, to make myself feel better at the end of the year. For example, "do laundry when necessary this year." Note the vague wording allows some flexibility even on how frequently I change Jonathan's sheets, in case I decide I need that flexibility later.

However, this year will be different.

Why will this year be different? Because I know something about this year that you don't know. I know that this year, the Apocalypse will happen. Around August 2nd, in fact.

In preparation for the upcoming apocalypse, I have a single new year's resolution this year, which can be summed up into a single word: "Organize."

That's it. That's my resolution for the new year. If the Apocalypse is coming in August, then the very most important thing I can do to prepare for it is to organize.

And when I say organize, I do not mean that term to be vaguely worded so I can sneak around it when I need to. I will, indeed, look through every dark corner in every closet in my house. I will dig through all the drawers and make Final Decisions on whether or not to keep my treasures-of-truth from 4th grade. I will purge the pantry. The garage. The side of the house where we stash the old pots we aren't using but might use someday. All these things must be organized by August and the Apocalypse.

And not just house. I will organize my office at work. I will organize my research into a new, exciting grant proposal. And finished papers, sparkly and bright. I will organize my teaching into scanned folders containing notes and assignments and exams from semester to semester, that can fit onto a single hard drive.

Too much? You say. Yes, I have indeed cut off a large amount of work for myself with this resolution.

But ... Apocalypse.

It must be done before then.