I turned 35 this week. It would have been just another birthday, except for several other events that happened at the same time.
One, after many years of ignoring my health, I finally scheduled a comprehensive physical exam, and the most convenient date for the exam happened to be the morning of my birthday. Two, around 2am the night before, I woke up with a pretty bad migraine and took the usual high dose of caffeine that knocks out the migraine for me. By the time of my appointment, the migraine pain was gone, but my blood pressure was really high, probably due to the caffeine. I had to get a follow up visit scheduled to check on that. Third, I got poked in the arms three times with needles during and after the appointment. I came away feeling bruised and mortal.
Fourth, the day before my birthday I had dinner at my mother's house. She mentioned that her 35th birthday was one of her worst. My paternal grandfather had just died at the age of 70. She had to face the fact that her life might be half over. Fifth, I've been feeling kind of low. Part of that is the migraine. But part of that is an inability to keep myself interested in tasks that I used to find enjoyable.
Anyway, I have decided the fix for all this is to have myself a really nice, big, whopping mid-life crisis, and so I've set out to plan a good one.
Unfortunately, I've already run into several snags. Many typical mid-life crises involve the purchase of large toys, but I'm not very interested in a new sports car, since I don't really like to drive and the freeway is totally torn up here. I missed the season for a boat, and frankly I don't want the hassle of getting it licensed and hauled around.
I've also considered and discarded the idea of having an affair with a younger man. That just sounds really creepy. Ew ew ew. I don't know how all those middle age men stomach the idea.
I looked into a possible career change, but apparently it will be more difficult than expected to sell my first novel. And even if I sell the novel, there's still a small chance that I won't reach the best-seller list immediately, and somehow the bills have to be paid in the mean time.
So anyway, I'm feeling kind of stuck, which isn't helping (see feeling low, above).
For now, I'm going to settle with folding laundry and then doing some homework. But meanwhile, if you have any good ideas for a fabulous mid-life crisis, I'd be happy to hear them.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Hmmm, you could run away to Europe to pursue your childhood dreams of being a professional singer (or whatever your childhood dreams were of - although if it was being an astronaut, I'm not sure even a midlife crisis would qualify one for doing that). You could quit society and become a hermit in the mountains, and live like Thoreau - maybe you could lightly novelize your life, and then surely it'd sell like hotcakes and support you in the manner you'd like to become accustomed to.
Save your energy for an "old life"
crisis - there's more amunition to use!
Kris
That's about the same age I got divorced and remarried. Unless you can be guaranteed to get someone like my Dave, I wouldn't recommend that either. I would recommend looking into low-level depression, as this is about the age it hits most women who haven't already bought the red BMW and picked up a boy-toy or dyed their hair red.
Say! you could try that one. But if you're like me, the upkeep is more than I want to deal with.
The year I turned 34 was my bad year. I got married to Dave when I was 35, which was amazing, but I'd have to say this year has been my best.
E.
Post a Comment