A couple of days ago Tim and I received a magazine in the mail from a university we both attended once upon a time. Curious, I checked the address label to see which of us they had tracked across three states and one country to our current address. Appears they found both of us, and married us while they were at it. Wow. That's pretty good tracking.
Except for one thing.
My name was on the top: Mrs. Jessica. No problems there.
Tim's name was listed next: Timothy, PhD.
Huh? Timothy gets recognized as a PhD, and I get the title Mrs? Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not against Mrs. The problem is, Timothy and I both received PhD's the same year. And we both worked hard to receive them. If they're going to do enough tracking to find that he has a PhD, why not do the same tracking to check on me? If they had addressed the magazine to Mr and Mrs, fine. If they had addressed it to PhD and PhD, fine. But why recognize his advanced degree and ignore mine? Why why why? Because I am female, that's why. Women from my alma mater don't get PhD's. They go there to become a Mrs.
Rrrrrrh!
Tim laughs and tells me that in fact, the university is not trying to slight me personally. In fact, in general the world is usually not out to get me. And it's silly to get worked up over something so silly. And yes, it is kind of pretentious for me to call them up and ask them to fix it. (Easy for him to say, Mr PhD.) And anyway, he continues, they probably just updated his info when he donated to his college a couple years ago.
I remind Tim that the donation was a joint donation, from both of us, and that at the time of the donation, we both had PhD's.
So his logic is flawed and mine is just fine and hence the world is sexist, or just out to get me me ME!
Tim rolls his eyes and goes to bed.
I decide emailing the alma mater to fix the problem really is pretentious. So I write this bitter blog entry instead.
Just once -- ONCE -- I'd like to see a piece of official mail addressed to Mr Timothy and Jessica, PhD. Just once, I tell you!
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1 comment:
oh, I feel your outrage. I get upset every time I get a bill or a phone call or a letter addressing me as Mrs. when whatever account in question is in my name alone! It is aggravating (and I believe I've blogged about it). And while I am not one to push for having "Esq." attached to my name, I would be incensed if some hypothetical husband was designated as such and I was plain old Mrs.
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