Sore gums and important people

I had another appointment with the dentist this week.  I knew it wouldn't go well.  That's because for the last few years, the amount of pain and swelling I feel in my gums has been a pretty good indication of the amount of stress I'm feeling in my life.  And actually, interestingly, lately the soreness in my gums has been the first thing to awaken me to the fact that I'm feeling pretty stressed out.  Again.

I really have no good excuse to be stressed out.  My family is safe and healthy and well.  And yet....

Last week, two important people came to visit our department, and to speak in the seminar I organize.  They were invited to visit primarily by Dr Jim Famous, who just retired from G.O.D. University but who still attends seminars.  Working with Dr Famous, we picked a convenient week and found travel funds to bring in Dr Important and Dr Impressive.  I took care of the details, because I am the seminar organizer, and because Dr Famous is retired, and because Dr Important was my PhD advisor and Dr Impressive was one of my postdoctoral mentors.

For the record, Dr Important and Dr Impressive are both delightful men, and kind.  But because they were my supervisors during times in which I felt small and stupid, now when I am around them I remember how small and stupid I can be.  And I feel a deep desire not to be stupid in their presence.

I am smart.  I am professional.  I am a delightful person, and kind.  But alas, I am frequently stupid.  Luckily, Dr Famous was the guy who would be hosting these important visitors, and so while they were visiting, he would be the one to show them around and help them be happy and I could hide in his shadow with a professional-looking smile.

Anyway, the travel was arranged, the talks scheduled, advertised, planned.  Dr Famous took a quick weekend trip with his wife to visit his grandchildren in rural Texas, assuring me he would be back on Monday.  And all was well.

On Monday, I emailed our seminar group to remind them of the important visitors, and to organize a post-seminar dinner.  Prof Famous mailed back:

"Dear everyone,
     I am snowed in, in a farmhouse 30 miles outside of Lubbock. If the flight hadn't been cancelled, we wouldn't have been able to get to the airport anyway: snow, winds 35-45 mph with gust to 60. The flight has been rescheduled to Thursday. I am sorry to miss all of you wonderful speakers and seminar members. But... it's nice to be with family, warm and comfortable...unless the electricity goes out. - Dr Famous."

And suddenly, I was the only one on the ground to host Dr Important and Dr Impressive.  And even though they are both delightful men, and kind, by the next morning my gums were feeling tender and sore. 

But you know, I survived.  And the talks were well attended, and the seminar luncheon and dinner were enjoyable.  And I spent a couple of hours with each visitor, talking about my research ideas, and I was not struck dumb with stupidity.  And the guests were even polite during the inevitable instances in which I was stupid.  In all, it was a lovely visit, just as I knew it would be, even if Dr Famous missed it entirely.  And if Dr Important and Dr Impressive are reading this, then I want them to know that I very much appreciated having them come.  Their seminars were excellent and the entire department enjoyed the visit and learned from it.

But Tuesday morning, when they were gone and I was trapped in that reclining chair at the dentist's office, it was clear that the visit had affected me.  As the hygienist gave my gums a thorough hyper-sonic scrubbing treatment, recommending ibuprofen for the pain I was sure to feel the rest of the day, she asked if I had ever tried yoga for its calming abilities.

No, thought I.  But next time I am stressed, I believe I will visit rural Texas.  I hear that the farmhouses there are warm and comfortable.