Promotion

I found out this week that my application for promotion has been successful. In January, my title will change from Associate Professor to Professor.

About twenty years ago I decided I wanted to be a professor. And in a couple more months I'll finally be one -- twenty years later. Pretty awesome, eh?

And how will my job description change, you ask? Well, I'll be expected to reach higher performance targets. But I'm mostly meeting those already. (That's why I asked for the promotion.) There will be a little more money coming my way -- maybe. Some money that I negotiated on startup here will be expiring around the same time as my official promotion. So things may just even out so that I don't get a pay cut going into the new year. And that is a good thing.

But the best part of the promotion, honestly, is being able to use that Professor title on things like airline tickets. I never liked using "Doctor" because even though I have a PhD, I would be pretty useless in a medical emergency. I've calmed down a bit about letting people know I'm married ("Mrs" vs "Miss") but I still think it's none of the airlines' business. Now I can officially fly as "Prof" and in the event of a medical emergency, everyone will know that I am as useless as everyone else. But if anyone needs help, say, taking the derivative of a trig function, then they will know that I am the one for the job. Unless they mix me up with an English professor. I could see myself running into problems in the event of, say, a Shakespeare emergency. But I've never heard of a Shakespeare emergency, so I think I'll be ok.

Good news all around!

In other news, I attended a workshop on self publishing today. I have written three novels, and I am seriously thinking about getting them published on my own, because eight years ago a round of submissions to mainstream literary agents went nowhere, and I haven't bothered to try again. Unfortunately, even to do the self publishing thing I need a cover design -- for each of them. The workshop lady didn't think it was a good idea to reuse the same cover for different books. So that means three covers. Finding three covers is a paralyzingly difficult task. So maybe we'll wait another eight years and then think about publishing again.

And the last other news is that we have been having very Serious Conversations about blowing all our life savings, and also our future savings for many years, and actually buying that spectacular luxury apartment we toured yesterday. It is right on the side of the large urban park, with easy access to the city, stunning views, extra storage space, and a full sized bathtub. It also has crazy luxuries like ducted heating and AC and double glazed windows. And the building has a fabulous infinity pool looking out over the city. Serious calculations say that we could really make it work. Paying off the bank loans might get in the way of other things coming up in the next few years like "paying for college" or "visiting family ever again". But that infinity pool!

What do you think? Should we buy it? Maybe to celebrate my promotion?

Poop in the grout

Last night I dreamed about poop. My poop. It just kept coming and coming, and it was all over the bathroom floor. I was trying to clean it up with toilet paper, but that just smeared it into the grout. I woke up with a stomach ache.

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I applied for a promotion this year. A week ago I had an interview. Me and a room full of provosts. I think I answered most of the questions well, but not all. I gave the true answers, but possibly not the best answers or the correct answers. You never know in a room full of provosts.

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November means spring. Late spring. The trees have full leaves. The magpies aren't swooping anymore, as they're spending their time shoveling grubs into the beaks of nearly full grown juveniles. Sunset gets later and later. We can walk in the park after 7:30 and it is still sunny. The boy has allergies, and there have been spring rainstorms. But spring was always my favorite season, even when it happened in May rather than November.

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I have a great fellowship at work that allows me to devote 80% of my time to research. By contract, I must devote 80% of my time to research. Because of that, I've been cut back from a 40% to a 15% teaching load. But then on top of that, I've had a pretty heavy admin position in the department, overseeing research. I did a little math, and added up the numbers, and realized that I was working at least 115%, and no one was paying me for that extra 15%. So I said some words, and I'm now officially getting out of the admin research role. But not before the poop gets smeared all over the floor: see first paragraph. We are updating our list of what counts as  a "quality" research output. While the decisions ultimately fall upon someone else, communicating those decisions falls on me. And I just can't get the gunk out of the grout with only a roll of toilet paper.

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