Three adults and an election

We have become a household of three adults. 

Don't act so shocked. You knew it was going to happen. The years keep spinning, like a roulette wheel. They were going to land on 18 eventually.

Tim makes a delicious vegan cake.

***

In Australia, we had an important election last night, and because we were a household of three adults, all three of us could vote. 

One of us voted for the very first time anywhere. Three of us voted for the very first time in Australia. 

It was glorious. A little cold, and longer lines than expected. But ultimately glorious.

This is the community hall where we voted.

We had a federal government that had been disastrous. We had a prime minister head out on a Hawaiian vacation anyway, when bushfires ravaged the country in 2019-2020. The feds pushed hard-Hard against the state-led lockdowns that were saving lives and saving the economy in 2020-2021. They bullied women, and ignored their concerns aggressively. They tortured refugees on a scale that made international news in 2022. Gave billions of taxpayer money to their mates, couched as 'pandemic' related, while locking universities out of job keeping programs in the pandemic, and vetoing a small handful of carefully vetted research grants. They ignored devastating floods, and the climate science that had predicted them. From my view from here, they seemed to be as corrupt as they could get away with, and with the blessing of Murdoch media, they were confident they could get away with a lot of corruption.

They are out. 

Out! Out! Out! Resoundingly out!

I hoped as I voted that they would be out, and that little voters like me could send a message about climate, corruption, and bullying. We sent a message. 

Both major parties took a beating, but especially the incumbents. Many of the people replacing them are respected, independent, professional women, who campaigned on climate and on integrity. And they have won! Decisively!

Pandemic, war, climate crisis, inflation. We don't need politicians anymore. We need leaders. We desperately, desperately need leaders. And maybe, just maybe, we got them.

And the fact that this vote happened in the country that birthed Murdoch media brings me so much hope. Friends, I have been so hopeless in the face of news media that spurts anger and lies and manipulation.

But people are still good. People are still smart. People can still see when they are being manipulated and lied to, that they can push back. And our system still lets them push back. They pushed!

I am so so so grateful to be an Australian today.

***

Jonathan, now 18, was eligible to work the polls. He applied, and received a 1-night job counting ballots. 

Tim and I dropped him off around 3pm at a warehouse further down the river. He was there until around 11pm, home at midnight, walked in the door in time to hear the speech of Australia's next Prime Minister.

Tim and I sat on the couch watching the election returns, becoming more and more hopeful, and more and more relieved.

I was massively relieved when Trump was dumped in 2020. But in the US, the reasonable voices at the center can still hardly be heard over the crazies, proven by January 2021.

But here? Here, reasonable seems to be a possibility. Maybe?

This strange, tentative feeling emerging from the worry and the fear. I think ... I think it might be ... 

Hope?

 

Stuff that happened in April

I've hung onto this blog about 15 years longer than most of the people I started blogging with. At first, it was a fun place to throw out my thoughts on life and the world, and hear others' thoughts in the comments. It was also a place to let far away family and friends know what was happening in our lives, when they couldn't see us frequently. 

And then the world moved on beyond blogs, and we got used to living far away from family and friends. But the blog was still a fun place to put out thoughts and photos, for me, writing for my Future Self. Sometimes, now that I am Future Self, I look back at old posts and remember Past Self, as though Past Self and Current Self and Future Self are really very different. They don't feel different. They're actually all here all the time, bouncing around in my head when I would prefer quiet. Needing therapy. And yet, here I am. Posting. 

Let me also state for the record that it has become more tricky, deciding what to write, and finding the energy. My life is all tied up in the lives of other people in complicated ways, and a lot of the interesting, funny, thought provoking stories I would tell are not really my stories to tell at all. And even if they are my stories, I think of them while walking, or working, or on the train, and forget them before I sit down to write. If I bother to sit down to write. Writing takes energy, and I've been saving up energy for Important Wordle, or similar tasks.

I've also developed complicated opinions and world views that don't match the world views of the people I was writing to back when I started the blog -- as though those people aren't just versions of Me, versions who have also moved on and developed their own uncomfortable opinions.

In any case, while writing an update on April for my family, I realised I might want to put some of that update here. For the occasional reader. For Future Me. And also because I couldn't really remember what happened long ago in April until I started looking at photos. 

So here goes. Stuff that happened in April.

1. The Grand Prix came back to Melbourne. In 2020, the Grand Prix was the first event shut down by Covid-19, when a team member from Italy tested positive the night before the race. And then the city shut down. And the borders didn't open in time for a Grand Prix in 2021. But in April, 2022, the Grand Prix came back. 

The mysterious reader in my head will be wondering why we care about the Grand Prix. Of all the updates, why that one? We are not really race car people, here. 

The reason why is that we live only a few minutes' walk from the track. So when the Grand Prix comes back, it comes back with lots and lots of noise. Cars we cannot see whine around the track nearby, all day. Helicopters just hover. And hover. And hover. Good grief, helicopters. Take a break!

And there are airplane shows in the daylight.

Fireworks at night.

Noise. 

April began with noise.

2. Easter.

Easter is a big national holiday here. The Melbourne museum only closes two days of the year: Christmas, and Good Friday. The university was closed. 

To celebrate, we took a long walk through the Botanic Garden. 

... And home past the trees turning for autumn.

We didn't go away for the Easter break this year. But we did spend a little more time walking. We took a long walk along the bay on Easter Sunday.

And then came home and enjoyed a fancy Easter dinner, motivated by Jonathan, who said we needed to be more serious about celebrating holidays. It takes more thought to plan a fancy meal, though, when the family now only cooks vegan meals. What replaces the roast lamb or turkey for a holiday dinner? (Answer: just omit the roast. There is enough of the other foods to go around.)

3. ANZAC day is also in April, the week after Easter this year. ANZAC day is a day to remember the lives lost in war since World War I. There is a dawn ceremony held each year, also not far from our home. I was tentatively planning to attend this year....

Except I was invited to attend a conference in the US virtually that weekend. I woke up on Saturday morning at 5am to listen to talks, and to give a talk at 8am. And then on Sunday at 5am to listen. So on Monday morning, when I did wake up at 5am in time to get dressed and go to the ceremony, I actually rolled over and went back to bed.

Yes. I am also disappointed in my Past Self who couldn't be bothered to get out of bed for such a major event held in-person for the first time in two years. But I also sympathise with past self. Unless life is full of other stressors, it can be hard to get out of bed. 

And then back to work. 

And that was April.

You see? There are some interesting fun things that happened, but nothing that really needs special noting. And if there had been something needing special noting, I probably wouldn't have noted it here, because I was too busy living it. That seems to be the problem with keeping a blog.

But I'll try to keep up anyway. Because I don't know how to stop. 

Backup speech

 I was asked to represent the Dean at one of a few recent graduation ceremonies. No problem. I double checked, and my graduation robes that had been hanging unused in my office for six years seemed to be in good shape. I could wear them over one of the other dresses I found at the upscale used clothing store recently. It would be fun!

A week before the ceremony, I got an email. Would I please prepare a backup graduation speech, in case the main speaker came down with covid or was in quarantine?

(Eeek!)

After a couple of days, I tentatively responded. I guess so?

Jonathan had been invited to give a speech in March at his old high school. I asked Jonathan if I could please use his speech as a backup graduation speech. Ha ha ha. Everybody laughed and Jonathan walked away. No wait -- I was serious. 

I thought back over other speeches I'd given in the last few years. They were all about mathematics. Every one of them. Except the church talk about playing the organ and Jesus. I couldn't see any way to reuse the Jesus talk. Maybe I could use a story about mathematics?

The day before the ceremony, I mentioned to the Dean and Associate Dean of Education that I was not super comfortable about preparing a backup graduation speech. In what must have been an attempt to be empathetic, the Dean recalled the time he had been asked to prepare a backup graduation speech, and then actually had to give it. Eeek!

I asked the Dean if I could please use his backup speech as my backup graduation speech. 

"It's a bit personal," he said. 

"That doesn't bother me," I said. 

Ha ha ha. Everyone laughed and the Dean walked away. I was serious, though. Mostly.

The night before the event, I locked myself in my room and scribbled out a speech. Start with short reminiscing on my own graduation. Follow up with three dot points: advice. The mathematical story goes into the second dot point. Close with a joke. Ha ha ha. 

Fold the papers into my backpack and hope hope hope hope hope that the real speaker didn't come down with covid. 

The real speaker didn't come down with covid. 

*PHEW!*

Now what to do with a backup speech? Advice, mingled with mathematics? I'll save it for next time. 

 

Best dressed

Now that I'm going back to work two to four times per week, I've had to think about clothing again. I'm totally set in the casual outfit department. I have jeans and t shirts to last me through the apocalypse. The closet is a little shabbier in the dressier clothing area. I still have nice skirts and slacks, but a lot of the button up shirts and blouses I wore for professional or dress occasions are worn and tired looking, no longer fit for purpose. And I've taken on new leadership roles that will require more professional dress. Sigh. Time to shop?

All this came to a head a few weeks ago. Through connections made in one of those leadership roles, I was invited to a gala awards dinner.  Dress code: cocktail.

No way. I've never owned a dress appropriate for a cocktail-dress event. While the event sounded great, the dress code was enough to scare me away. But I didn't need to RSVP immediately. So out of curiosity, I ran an image internet search for "cocktail dress."

I know it seems like I just started this blog as a 20-something year old, stepping out freshly into life. But while we weren't paying attention, I aged into my mid-forties. I can't wear strappy, sleeveless, backless, tight, short. I was looking for a dress that was sufficiently dressy, but didn't shout "look at me" or expose the lumpy parts.

The internet showed me a few that might work. Price ranging from $200 to $800. Order online. Hope it fits.

I told Tim I wasn't going to go. He suggested a used clothing store near a well-heeled market that we pass regularly on the way to the grocery store, but had never entered. I decided to give it a shot.

So the next Saturday, while Tim and Jonathan went to the grocery store, I peeled off and ducked into the used clothing shop. 

Long story short-er-ish: I found four great dresses, each less than $50. One was a little too big, but for only $18, I thought I could make it work. I bought them all. At home, I RSVP-ed yes!

The dress that didn't quite fit was the most "cocktail" dress. Time to try to take in the seams. As I pulled the zipper out of the fine fabric, afraid I would ruin everything, I had to keep reminding myself it only cost $18. I can afford an $18 experiment.

And I no longer own a sewing machine. So I sat on the couch with needle and thread, trying to make short straight stitches that followed the lines of the safety pins I had stuck along the seams to indicate how much fabric was not needed. I felt like an old-English lady doing needlework.

When the pins came out, the dress fit better than ever expected. This was perfect! For fun, I tried it on with my black platform heels and walked into the living room to show the family. Then I told them that although the platform heels looked good, I would have to be able to walk to get to the event, so I showed them the flats I would really be wearing. 

"You can't wear those," said Tim.

"You have to wear the other shoes," said Jonathan. 

And I guess I agreed. It really is a dress meant to wear with platform heels. 

But I will have to be able to walk to get to the event -- even if it's just down two flights of stairs and through the courtyard of our building to catch a taxi. More likely it will be up the street half a block to catch a tram. Or I could even walk 30 minutes to the venue itself -- it's that close. And yet all scenarios require walking, which is pretty impossible in the platform heels. 

I could wear the flats outside, then change into the platform shoes when I arrive. 

But then I need to be able to carry shoes with me. 

The internet says I should take a sparkly clutch to a cocktail party. But I pulled out my black purse to see if I could fit a pair of shoes inside. Definitely not. The purse is too small. No hope for a clutch then.

Now I needed a handbag nice enough to take to a gala event, but large enough to carry shoes inside. 

I tried the well-heeled used clothing store across from the market one more time. They had a Prada bag in a glass case that looked possibly perfect. $500. Uh. Probably not. 

The charity shop down the road had some options as well, but they all looked too small. 

Ruminating on this new challenge, I happened to see a rack of handbags at the outlet center while shopping for clothes for Jonathan. I picked out a black handbag for $40 that will suffice. I do admit, it looks a little more Maternal than Cocktail, but even carrying a handbag makes me feel a little more feminine than usual, since I typically just carry stuff in pockets or a backpack.

So this is it. For $18 + $40 + a few hours hand-sewing on the couch, I have a nice looking dress + shoes + accessories for a gala dinner. And I'm committed to going. 

And it's going to be awesome, because even though I didn't want to stand out, with the platform heels I will stand at 6 foot 3 inches tall, and therefore dominate the room. Chin up. Shoulders back. Confidence.

I hope I don't twist an ankle!

There is an extra pair of shoes hiding in that hand bag.

Creswick

Just like old times, I spent a week and a half away from the family at a workshop in the woods.  

Unlike old times, there weren't any visitors from outside of Australia. Instead, we showed up to talks in Germany via zoom link at 7:30pm. 

Also, we were only a 90 minute train ride from Melbourne, so Tim and Jonathan met me in Ballarat for a day trip on Saturday. 

Ballarat: built on gold in the 1800s. The buildings are really pretty, but not all are well maintained.

Back in Creswick in the woods, there were kangaroos and cockatoos. I looked hard for an echidna, but no luck this time. 

On Sunday, I went swimming in a couple of local lakes. Summer is a glorious time of year. 

With the end of the workshop, the world feels more normal. Back on campus this week, with students back. Everyone is vaccinated by requirement. Masks on inside. Windows open wide. I guess we're in a stage of the pandemic where we figure out how to approach this new world.

Plant based week

 Jonathan has been a strict vegan for about a year and a half now. Since we still eat together as a family, that means Tim and I are mostly vegetarian, cooking plant based family meals, although Tim and I have been putting dairy milk on cereal and dairy cheese on our sandwiches, and when we eat out we occasionally get a hamburger or fish and chips. But we've also tried many varieties of plant based recipes with Jonathan, so we know which vegan foods we like the best, and work the best, and make the most sense. 

For fun, I decided to go completely vegan for a week, to see what it would be like. 

Given the first paragraph of this post, it wasn't really life changing. Meh. Not a big deal. 

I just put Jonathan's soy milk on my granola in the morning and opted to have pizza without cheese, and vegan butter on my toast rather than regular butter. Otherwise, it was pretty much the same. 

Which makes me think that perhaps I should do this more often. 

A plant based diet is well-known to be better for health, better for the climate. It also makes a lot of practical sense: plant based foods can be cheaper, last longer in the pantry, and are more filling (oats, grains, seeds, nuts, oils... even the soy milk stores in the cupboard much longer than dairy). At first I found it harder to cook, but not so much anymore with practice. And finally, I usually think the vegetarian option looks better! More colour and flavour.

I like to be flexible. I like to try everything rather than restrict myself. Is there a label for someone who is almost exclusively vegan but will occasionally try a special dish with meat or fish?

Some favourite meals that are easily veganisable:  vegetable chili, pasta primavera, stir fries in all their forms. Japanese curry rice. Shanghai noodles. Thai green curry (that is, buy a jar of pre-made Thai green curry sauce, and check carefully that you're getting the version without added fish sauce. Add your own vegan fish sauce and follow their directions for cooking). For breakfast, toast and granola. For lunches, sandwiches with vegetables and avacados. Salads with canned beans for protein. Pancakes, waffles (use flax or chia seeds to replace the eggs -- gives it a delightful texture!). 

And many / most? snacks are vegan: Potato chips. Corn chips. Dark chocolate. Many types of cookies and candies. Nuts. Just check that you are avoiding snacks with added butter or cheese -- the cheaper ones will be vegan!

We like to use a plant-based mince to replace ground beef in tacos. Tofu is boring, but we found that the pre-marinated chili tofu is really good, and pretty much replaces most everything that used to be chicken in our meals.

And I've been making my own vegetarian granola for breakfast for nearly two decades, when I found that it made me feel good, and kept me from being hungry before lunch.

I have never really liked cooking, but eating is necessary. So we will continue to plan dinner every single day for the rest of our lives. Now more plant based. 

Risk taking at the end of the year

The omicron variant of covid-19 is running rampant over Australia, particularly the state of New South Wales (NSW) to the north, with Sydney as its capital city. But it is also here in Victoria. 

...

Melbourne adjusted its New Year's Eve celebration. In the past, the world was invited to the city, with fireworks shot from every skyscraper and in hubs around the Central Business District (CBD). Last year, all fireworks were cancelled. This year, they would be shooting fireworks once again from a few hubs, but nothing centrally, and the hubs would be carefully regulated: A ticket lottery, proof of full vaccination required for entry. 

Tim entered the lottery and won eight tickets. Jonathan invited a couple of friends and their parents. 

And then on the morning of 30 December, there were over 10,000 new covid cases in NSW. 5000 in Victoria. Yikes! Should we go?

...

The weather was forecast to be hot. Hot HOT! Our first really hot day of the year, complete with warnings to stay out of the sun, hydrate, watch for signs of heat exhaustion, with temperatures cooling from the high 30s (around 100 degrees F) to the high 20s (around 80 degrees F) between 6pm and midnight. In my mind, perfect PERFECT weather for a summer event outdoors.

But 31 December dawned, and NSW had over 20,000 new covid cases, Victoria nearly 6000. 

...

Should we go?

...

Jonathan made rice paper rolls, enough to feed the army that is Jonathan's stomach, plus a few extras for me and Tim, and packed them up for a dinner in the park.

The heat was brutal. With no air conditioning, Tim and I had already been arguing over the windows in our apartment all morning. When to open? When to close? How to keep the sun out?

Tim found an empty 2 liter water bottle to take to the park with us, to fill when we arrived, so we could both stay hydrated, but also avoid carrying a heavy water jug up to the city.

The event would be outdoors. Everyone fully vaccinated. Distanced on the grass. 

If we couldn't enjoy this sort of event, what could we do except lock ourselves into our homes for years?

We went. 

There were a lot fewer people than in previous years at the Flinders Street Station while we waited to meet up with one of Jonathan's friends. The heat and the pandemic made a great crowd-thinning combination. 

 

When we arrived at the park, first we were screened for vaccination status. Then our bags were searched. And finally our tickets were scanned. We were the only people in the line. But they were clearly ready for a lot more.

We were one of basically only two groups in the entire park. 

 But more people slowly trickled in. 

The sky was beautiful. The sunset pretty. 

It was nice to spend some time with Jonathan's friends and their parents. Because of Jonathan, we have basically been in their covid bubble for months anyway, so it was nice to put faces to the names. 

 Jonathan came with me for some crazy dancing closer to the stage -- but still meters away from other people. 

And then at 9:30pm, fireworks! And then all the families with little kids left. 

And then at midnight, fireworks!

Happy new year, everyone. 

My guess: This year we will have to make a lot of decisions about the kind of life we want to live in a pandemic, and the risks and mitigations we are willing to take. 

I resolve to think upon it.